Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
