Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
