I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
