i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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