I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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