Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
