vagina is talking i cant
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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