She said her name was "party"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
