Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
