i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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