I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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