Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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