This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
