what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
