So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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