the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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