I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
