problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
