i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
