Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
