If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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