We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
