i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
