hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
