i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
