we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize