He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
