I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
