a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
