After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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