look no pants
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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