I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
