normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
