You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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