Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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