y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize