new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
