Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
