My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
