I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
