i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
