He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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