i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
