Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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