we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize