So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
