I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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