I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
