A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
