what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
