I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize