the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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