wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
