you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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