Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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