We won't sleep together?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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