In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
