Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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